Month: April 2017

Well, although there are still some niggling apprehensions about my recent purchase, I am warming up to the idea. Although there are things about it that will require some acclimation, I do find it a lot quicker than my old netbook. A lot.

Because of its spryness, I don’t dread doing anything computer related during the day. Before, if I needed to write something that required a larger screen than my smartphone, I’d have to deal with the tablet–which has its own flaky issues and is better suited for leisurely movie-viewing–or my netbook which would literally take a full 5 minutes to load Gmail or anything Google related or trek all the way to my office to use the desktop machine. (I still need the desktop machine for some tasks such as photo, video, or music editing, but for the smaller tasks that just require a few words, this is just fine.)

I’m crossing my fingers, saying a prayer, and hoping that this purchase will work out for the best. All components because I also have an expansion storage card on the way which has wildly mixed reviews as well.

If there is a higher power out there somewhere, please don’t let me down.

Random tangent: I’m perplexed and a little bit giddy that I received two unexpected checks in the mail a couple days ago. They were out of the blue and while not an earth-shattering amount of money, it was a healthy chunk of change–enough to cover a third the cost of my new acquisition. Let’s hope for more unexpected goodies from the Universe dropping in. Maybe meditation does work.

I splurged and purchased a new mini laptop. It was a spur of the moment decision (though I did put some thought into it) and now I’m battling the buyer’s remorse.

It wasn’t terribly expensive, but I do have to finish paying off My Rich Uncle over the next 6 months and I’m also saving up to make a major purchase within the next year. In other words, I really don’t have extra cash to burn at the moment. But I’m trying to stay positive.

It’s something I knew I needed because my aging netbook was, well, aging. It had become so slow that I was pulling out my hair every time I loaded up a program. Plus, my aging table was also, well, aging. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the netbook, but doing some of the work I’d prefer to do would require a little more functionality than it could comfortably provide.

So far, I don’t hate my decision, but I’m also hoping I don’t regret it later either. In fact, it set me back several steps and it’s not exactly a well known or reputable brand. And the further I dug into the company the more uneasy my stomach became.

Right now everything seems to be running smoothly (and, truth be told, had I not done all that research after hitting the purchase button I probably would have been relatively pleased with this purchase), but I’m worried that two or three months down the line this thing will give up the ghost and I’ll be shit outta luck because everything I’ve read and seen says this company doesn’t really stand behind its products and it will be well outside of the return period.

Guess this means I’ll just need to wait and see.

My life ended up so fucked.

OK. It’s not totally fucked, but I’m nowhere near where I envisioned myself being at this age. Not even within the same relative vicinity.

To make things a little bit worse, I logged into Facebook after being off of it for little more than a year only to see the happiness and success of everyone from my distant past.

Not that I’m mad at them or their success (a portion of me, deep down somewhere, is actually elated for them), but I wonder what happened to my own success. It feels as though my life has been one sad series of struggles from one moment to the next.

Where is my “this time last year I thought my life was over and was about to throw myself over a cliff, but between then and now, miracles and manifestations happened and now I’m living the dream” moment? Can life really change so vastly in only a year?

Of course it can. I know that. I guess, for me, what I’m wondering is why my own hasn’t. Maybe I’m not taking the necessary steps, despite thinking I am. I work hard, try to save hard (except the tax man and our slowly dying government aren’t really helping), and have been working on my personal self improvement. But…stagnation.

And as each day passes, it feels like all I ever do is work. Work. Work. And then work a little bit more. All so I can barely make ends meet. To what end? I’d prefer to enjoy my life and not be so worn thin and tired after working 50-60 hours a week to enjoy what little time I do have off.

So, yeah, how to do I get to there from here? I guess that’s the ultimate question. Until I get a definitive answer, I’m thinking the only thing I really can do at this point is to take one small step each day. Maybe do one small thing that brings me some measure of joy. Then pray it will be enough.